Optometrist Visit

Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

As I've said before, Will dislikes doctors.  Therefore, I didn't tell him about the trip to see Costco's optometrist until the morning of the visit.  (He wouldn't have remembered me telling him anyway.)

Why did we go?  Because our concierge doctor had performed a quickie vision test using her cell phone and said that his vision was quite poor and it might help if we went.  (Dr. Thakur is part of Integrity Wellness and is a wonderful, kind, friendly, not-at-all-doctory physician.) 

So he got dressed (wearing the long sleeved shirt he's been wearing for several days) and put on his tweed sport's jacket instead of one of the cardigans he always wears.  Then we went to Costco's optical department where I checked him in with the doctor's receptionist.  I filled out the form, knowing he wouldn't be able to do it very quickly.  I asked him some questions about his family's health and he remembered a bit.  Then I briefly explained the privacy rules -- mostly because he would be signing he form that agreed that he'd understood them.  (Oh, so many prevarications when managing dementia.)  When I returned the form I told the receptionist that he had dementia and she said she'd tell the doctor.

Then she suggested we look over the frame options while waiting for the "independent optometrist," Dr. Jones. 

Will told me, "I'd like to use my old frames."  I explained to him that it would probably take a week or two to get the lenses in his new glasses.  He had already told me about his desire to use his old frames on our drive over.  I had already explained to him that he couldn't be blind for a week and that that we could buy two sets of lenses but that he'd probably have to wait for a week to have the lenses installed in the old frames.  So there I was explaining again, all the while remembering that he couldn't "do" logic anymore and wondering why I was explaining.  Force of habit?  Respect?

So I said, "Would you like to look at frames?"  He just sat there staring.  Now, that wouldn't necessarily be part of his dementia as often in the past he would shut down and go silent when he didn't want to do something.  I explained again about the two lenses and the time.  Then I asked, "May I bring you sample frames?"  He gave a short nod.

So I brought over frames that looked as much as possible like his old wire one.  His old ones have cable hooks that go around his ears and of course none of the Costco frames did.  He kept shaking his head until I found one pair which didn't cause him to shake his head immediately.  I put that one aside. 

Then he went in for his examination and I waited outside, looking at frames.  When he came out, the doctor called me over and told me that one of his lenses was actually currently too strong.  Then he told me somewhat surprising news -- that one of Will's eyes was almost completely occluded by cataracts.  He said he would be happy to give a referral to an ophthalmologist, but that "it might not be the right thing at his age.  You can think about it."

We then took a number and waited for the lens-crafters to serve us.  The gal who did looked at his old frames and said that Costco couldn't replace the lenses in them because they'd be torn up by Costco's lab equipment which processed "around ten thousand glasses a day."  She also noticed a rough place on the edge of the frame that was cutting his skin and suggested I put a dot of clear nail polish on it.  She recommended we take the old frames to one of the places where the lenses are hand ground.  Then she looked at the frame I'd chosen and noticed that it was too large for his head.  She found another one that was round and the same size as his old glasses.

He sat patiently while she fitted the new frames that he didn't want.  He complained that they were made cheaply.  I tried to assure him that the titanium was strong.  (Complaining about the cheapness of something is an old habit.)  Then as she did other works he kept pulling his wallet out of his pocket, trying to find a way to pay (I've cut up his credit cards so he wouldn't have found them anyway.)  He'd done the card removal previously as we waited for the doctor -- pulling his wallet from his pocket twice, each time taking out his medicare card and holding it.  Each time he did, I explained that the service wasn't covered by medicare.  (Which is one reason we were at Costco!)

As for the occluded eye:  I've put the question to spousal dementia carer Facebook group to which I belong.  Some folks say yes, have the surgery and some say "no," don't have it.  I will now contact Dr. Thakur and ask for her advice.  He was reading last night and I asked him if he could read okay and he said, "yes," but then, he has a history of telling "therapeutic lies" himself to save me and himself from "more trouble."