Back In My Office!

I haven't written on this blog since March because of the lockdown.

A dementia-carer meme from early in the lockdown

 I was discouraged from going into The Haven, my coworking space, because of the extremity of the first closures.  Now they have practices in place for proper pandemic etiquette and I'm so happy to have my restful view again.

I am more than fortunate in my dementia care and am always thanking God for the following:

• my spouse is sweet, loving, and childlike, exposing the boy he was before he became the sweet albiet cranky, critical man he became.
• I can still leave him alone in the house and he will be okay.
• I'm now in charge of all the money and have been able to use some of it to contribute to the needs of others, including members of my coworking space who weren't able to pay for their space themselves.
• I have an awesome community of support that includes friends from my former job, friends from my distant past, and friends from church. 
• I have been developing a deeper relationship with my wonderful niece.

My spouse has declined during this time.  Coincidental?  Due to his reading about the virus?  Due to our not being able to bring people into the house or go out shopping together?  We are now on Home Health through Partners In Care so a nurse comes once a week to check up on him.  The assessment nurse noted that since he could speak in complete sentences and walk across the room without tripping, he wasn't ready for hospice.  (Dr. Sonia would have preferred Hospice for some reason -- more support for me, perhaps.)  He is very thin and got his first pressure sore last month.

I am missing being inside my church with my church friends.  Trinity has been having services online but as much as I enjoy the online world, with its sights and sounds, I'm too much of a mammal to be content without the smell and touch of my wonderful friends.  I miss hugs.  Wait, let me put that into the proper form:

I MISS HUGS!   I MISS HUGS! 
  
Whew.  I needed to say that.

 And adding to my grief is the grief of our church community due to the totally unexpected death of the retired priest who had been Trinity Episcopal's pastor for 14 years before moving to a greater position and then retiring back in Bend.  

Well, I'm in the second day of recovery from maryjane addiction.  Yes, it's the eternal addiction/relapse cycle.  Sigh.  I love the herb but sadly, my control of my usage changed when I retired from teaching and became a dementia carer.  So... for the past three years or so I've been riding the cycle.  This month, hopefully, is sobriety month.  Maybe next month too.  We'll see.  😼