New Hospice

It's another wake 'n' bake morning.

photo by Agnieszka Kowalczyk

Yup...back in that stoner state of being.  Sigh.  I need to quit so I can actually get high again rather than just maintain.  Thank goodness I no longer feel shame about this ongoing ferris wheel (Riesenrad?)  I get clean when I can, when I don't have to fence with the Grief every day.

Be that as it may, we had a visit from a different hospice yesterday, Heart and Home.  This was recommended by Will's doctor, Dr. Sonia Thakur.  We saw her on Thursday afternoon last week as a follow up to the visit from the paramedics two nights before Thanksgiving.

This nurse turned out to be one of my former students!  She took my Philosophy of Love and Sex class long ago.  She is the intake nurse for H&H.  She has a lovely lilt in her voice that spurred me to ask her about where she was born...Trinidad!  So cool.  Anyway, she did an assessment and said that we would be able to get hospice services so I should be getting a call from a regular visiting nurse today.  IF we are accepted in.  The nurse was guaranteeing but I will wait and see.

Although he got antsy toward the end of the visit, he was calm and patient throughout most of it.  At one point she asked him something like, "Are you upset that you can't do what you used to do?" and  he said something like, "Why be upset about what can't be helped?"  And that's what keeps him content, I think, that acceptance.  

We are so blessed that he isn't terrified and angry, that he doesn't understand how much he's lost.  Le Bon Dieu bless anosognosia.