Aaannnd he's up!

 So it happened again.

Anne Nygard @polarmermaid

 After two weeks of downturn he was up and awake from 11:30 am till 9:30 pm on Sunday and up a long time yesterday, as well.  He's eating a bit more.  He put on a pound.  After I came home from my evening off last night, we actually had a bit of a conversation!  It was amazing!  Although he looked really white and unwell, he was able to talk about his time at Idaho State University and instead of remembering it as a horrible place where people picked on him (which is pretty much how he presented it to me while he was working there) he said that "There were other um people like me?  Faculty and students who knew what I was trying to do."

He was remembering his years there with fondness. He couldn't remember how long he'd taught -- 33 years -- but he wasn't stressed about his lack of memory.  He was stumbling over words and his sentences were short, but we were actually having something like a conversation.  

I was happy to see him happy.  And I also feel like my kintsugi heart is just tired and heavy.  

It's a trip, I tell you what.

"In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of every glove that laid him down
And cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains, he still remains"