Depression, Dementia, and a Buddhist Thought

Back to the book Caring for a Loved One with Dementia by Marguerite Manteau-Roa.

In her chapter on "Clearing the Mind" she asks us to watch out for depression both in ourselves and our loved one.  I myself have a biological disposition in that direction and so for decades have taken SSRIs in the winter months.  I'm on them all year now because the grief that is part of dementia care hangs around my biology and weights it toward melancholy and despair.

The author offers a shorthand depression screening (p. 106) and asks the carer to make regular self-checks on our cognitive state.  She also suggests that we tell a good friend about the warning signs of depression so that we have someone looking out for us.

She offers "Six Ways to Prevent Depression:"

1. Get enough sleep, exercise, and eat well.
2. Socialize; do not isolate yourself.
3. Force yourself to be active, even if you don't feel like it
4. Put some structure into your days.
5. Recognize negative thoughts and try to cultivate healthier thoughts instead.
6. Be on the lookout for warning signs and get professional help early.  (p. 110)

I'm hip to five of these methods but I dislike #5 -- I'm not sure that "positive thinking" is all that helpful for dealing with the mix of complicated and anticipatory grief that is part of dementia caregiving.  But more on that in a future post.

The part of this chapter I like the best is it's insistence on recognizing reality.

"Sooner or later your mindful journey through dementia care you will be faced with the wall of the reality of life's impermanence." (p. 122)  Then she offers this Buddhist contemplation that we can think on to help us accept what so many people in dominant America culture try to refuse.

Buddhist Contemplation

by Benjamin Belazs on Unsplash

I am of the nature to grow old.
I cannot escape growing old.
I am of the nature to become ill.
I cannot escape becoming ill.
I am of the nature to die.
I cannot escape death.
Everyone and everything I love are of the nature to change.
There is no way to escape being separated from them.
There is no avoiding mistakes.
I am doing the best I can and I hold myself with compassion.