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Tuesday 19 November 2019

The Devil Finds Work

Is the Devil in the details?  Does the Devil find work for an idle mind?  Is grief devilish?
My view

The weeks that I was busy promoting my book and preparing for my various ministry activities I didn't have time for grief.  Now this week seems slow and devilish.  I felt sad all day yesterday in spite of the 100 mg of sertraline (generic zoloft).  Maybe because instead of coming here to my office above the river, I went to Les Schwab to have my tires put on.

But I'm now looking out on the dark Deschutes slowly turning silver and seeing the car headlights slip down Reed Market Road as the red lights slide up.  There's something about this view in the morning and the sight of these cars on the hill that touches the place in my brain that vibrates with nostalgia.  The cars in the semi-dark of approaching dawn remind me of travel, of all the places I've been, of all the places Will and I have been together. 

Will these memories make me sadder?  Lead me to hunger for numbing through food or drugs?  Is that devilish?

I miss my husband as he was.

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