Assignment: Self Care

 I'm currently enjoying a creative writing workshop with Nicole Meier - Author.  We meet at 9:00 this morning.  That means I have over three hours now to write a response to my short assignment from the other workshop member and Nicole:  to answer the question,  what do I do for self care besides sitting here in my wonderful office looking at the Deschutes River wake up in the morning?

I wonder why so many people need to tell me about self-care?  One of the first things dementia carers learn is the phrase, "You can't pour from an empty cup."  This means we need to pay close attention to our own needs.  So let me tell you, always being one to follow directions (she said with tongue firmly planted in her cheek), I've done what I could during these last five years to make sure that I took care of myself.  

 

This last year, as I became his Power of Attorney, I discovered we had some spare cash.  So I began paying myself handsomely for caring.  The first big purchase was a new car after our old one wouldn't restart twice on my way back from a trip to Portland to sell books.  I got a whole $600 courtesy discount as trade-in when I got a Subaru. I have also purchased a few too many boots and shoes, completely useless after March, 2020.  

But as fun as it is to purchase new things, consumerism isn't really enough for self care.  I've also hired a caregiver who gives me a "maid's night out" for three hours once a week.  I use this time to have a meal or walk with friends or go to my office and order in something tasty that I wouldn't order at home.

Well, I wouldn't have ordered at home in the past because he might not like it.  Right now I don't know what's happening with him.  He didn't eat dinner again last night.  I gave him a "snack plate" around 4:00 and told him Jen was coming but/and he went back to bed after consuming just a bit of what was on the plate (cut up protein bar, nuts, cookies).  Jen, our carer, comes for two hours on Monday nights to make him dinner while I am downstairs mentoring my EFM class on Zoom.  Last night, like two weeks ago, he didn't get back up when she invited him to dinner.  She made a sandwich and put it in the fridge.

So now I am free to order in Thai or Korean at home because I won't be needing to share my delivered meal.  Yippee!  Oh fuckityfuckfuck.  Sigh. My emotions are like basil and garlic in the process of becoming pesto.

Fortunately, my friends love pesto.